This is me...Accept and love me as wat I am...

2008-09-25T20:46:00.002+08:00

haiz...im freezing in the office every single day...guess company too rich thus all air con are blowing at full blast...situation at the new company...so far so good ba i guess..hmm..
oct is coming soon...and im going to get my present soon...wahahaha..cant wait...jie has a new doggy, QQ...she ar...hyperactive and very blur blur......

erm..i really duno what to blog lei...nth on mind to write wor...sian sian sian sian

2008-09-15T12:46:00.002+08:00

haiyo....in new office now...still not bad lor...nw is lunch time but dun feel hungry again....as usual..spolit liao the stomach....now trying to learn all my tings all over again..nid to refresh my brain...im just feeling so freaking cold here..i tink my hands are freeze thus making me difficult to write tings...abit the slow lor...sian...the msn here is damn slow!!!!....hanging my PC non stop....
nth to to blog liao...gng to do my tings...lalalala

2008-09-08T18:41:00.002+08:00

no more waiting le...finally found a job at ECU working as customer service....went for the interview this afternoon after which meet the 2 jie, eve n eleazar for lunch...boring lor...starting work next mon lor..
fri, the whole family went to Long Beach East Coast for dinner..the place was okie..but the food was not tt good...
sat went to cayden birthday, after which i met up with hannah and yuxian to attend Mrs Fong's wake..was terribly upset and felt strong heart pain when i saw her body...i really hope she is happy where ever she is..i guess there is only one place she will be...heavens...
sun went to pray ah gong after which went to boy hse to slp...woke up at bt 4+ in the afternoon...went to orchard road, chinatown and den marina sq...went to watch bangkok dangerous, quite a nice movie..but expect the ending to be even better lor...haiz...after that we went to eat mee sua..hohoho...addicted to the mee sua there...

ending here...tata

2008-09-06T14:24:00.002+08:00

hmm...been having a rather tight schedule this week and next week...been running away singapore like a siao CB...yesterday..the whole family went to Long Beach (ECP) to celebrate mama's birthday..welllthere was chilli crab and pepper crab which i wanted to eat but too bad..i duno how...anyway...i could not meet him due to him working the nite shift...so was tinking meeting him today...but....i nid to go to cayden's birthday..is his actual birthday today...after which i need to go to Mrs Fong's vigil service at her house later at nite...haiz...wonder if i will cry anot...so sad lor..so sudden to me....
but tml whole day is reserved for him.....early morning at bt 7.30am, we will be gng for bkfast, follow by gng to pray ah gong...den we go hm slp for awhile...and we are gng to the nite zoo and after tt eat mee sua....hope is true ba..hehe...

okie..ah joyce finishing bathing liao and is my turn...tata

2008-09-04T18:31:00.002+08:00

hohoho...it has been 3mths since i last blog...many many tings have happened during this 3mths...i oso duno where to start from...but right now...a news jus pull me down to hell...one of my fav teacher in sec sch has just passed away this afternoon...i could help but feeling lk crying..she was the teacher that truly cares bt me..and was my pillar of strength in school...when i was in hospital..she was the one that came to visit and help me thru my darkest moment...my heart hurts..really hurt alot now..im speechless...haiz....life is short i guess...i really duno how to express myself now....

anyway..im currently at hm rotting..waiting n waiting for time to pass...everyday schedule is so tight that i cant breathe....hoho...ok...ending here....i guess with this new skins...my blog seems more brighter den last time...

one last ting....hmm..im using my own words to write out... :)

Guy: Why does 1 + 1 = 2?
Girl: Erm...1 + 1 is equal to 2 what...no reasoning...
Guy: so why must i give u reason for liking you?...like means like la...

hehe....i anyhow write de....oopss.....tata

2008-06-06T22:12:00.002+08:00

i cant turn to anyone coz tis is what i ask for...im back to sq 1 and it killing me....i cant stop crying.i guess i deserve all this shit coz i ask for it...no one i can pour out to..coz all will sae...i deserve it...which i find it true...i deserve all the shit tings....

heart is hurting lk hell and i cant take away my pain...i just wish i can die..................................

2008-05-28T12:50:00.002+08:00

long time nv blog huh....been in a rather very depressing mood these days...am i having PMS???...feel lk crying everyday...stress up by work....stress up by family...stress up by 2 guys...all irritating me lk hell...my temper is getting from good to worse and a little tings will irritated me to the max...

my last day at CN Trans will be on 18/06 am...haiz...gonna miss the girls soso much...haiz...wht to do...hope i can meet up more often with them...miss the laughter..the "fighting and quarrelling"....everyting bt them...

lately...i realised i cant stand the sight of one girl...juz cant stand her stupid act cute and childish attitude...pls la..so old liao..still duno what is grow up...juz feeling lk confronting her and giving her one tight slap to wake her up...pui pui pui!!!!!!!!....i begin hate her so much tt i feel lk killing her...haha...juz kidding...well...tt is her character..what can i do bt it..she enjoy surfing net...acting cute...being rude...and childish..what can i do rite...haiz...another old childish woman...wont get to see her again...yuppie....i guess i really hate her to the core...always putting up a show in front of ppl..when ppl not ard...her rude attitude start to appear before me...im great ppl can see her true fucking colour...well..director is her...producer is oso her...the actress is oso her...she can win best director, producer and actress of the year...wahahahaha...only noe how to act busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i beta stop before i keep cursing her....STOP!!!!!!!!!

B gng to start work next monday...gonna miss the time we spent together...sian ar....

2008-04-29T16:09:00.002+08:00

to him...his tinking is tt...if a girl hit the guy...the guy can hit the girl oso...mayb our tinking is different...he juz dun get it...how many times must i tell him...is OVER between us..but he juz dun seem to understand...he tot i was juz playing with him...coz i always break and patch with him..but tis time..is different...u lay ur hand on me...no turning back...i see no future in us althought i keep telling myself u will change but nth much...in other words..u are nth...u dun haf anyting...
y cant u let me go..y wan to torture me non stop...i really had enuff already..

heart already broken into millions pieces....i nid my wall asap...scars cannot nv heal...they will also been with me...the scars on my hands...the scars in my heart...will always be there....no matter what u do...

2008-04-28T09:16:00.004+08:00

finally have the time to blog liao...at this moment...my heart has already been broken into million pieces...i try finding the pieces to stick back my heart...but...i juz cant find them...they are too small to been seen....my fairy tale has finally come to an end...there was no happy ending..only a very bad ending..
i juz feel lk dying...the way u treated me...i really duno what to do...i already sae..once u hit me..tt is the end of the r/s...u didnt take my warning seriously...u hit me...hands all cover with bruise...i didnt expect u to be a devil...i tot u always love and care for me..but i was wrong..when u lose ur temper...u dun rmb who am i...ur 1st slap...torn me apart..my world came crushing dw...heart broken into million of pieces...ur 2nd slap came...i totally broke dw...the hatred i had in u...when ur hand raise up for the 3rd time...i look at u when my eyes...i noe u can see hatred and anger in my eyes...u stop...i didnt noe u would be so violent towards me...u ask if my hand and face hurt...yes it hurts...but what is hurting more is my heart...in the end..tis is what i got from u....u really broke my heart tis time round...and i hate u for doing tis...there is no way i can forgif u...i cannot bring myself u gif u another chance and forgive u...i dun haf the strenght...u sae i force u to hit me...but if u listen to me and return me mybag..all things wont happened at all....we wont even break....i force u...
sometings are coming back to me...i dun wan tis habit...but i felt by doing tis...i felt more happy...dun blame me...i juz wan to find a way to ease my pain and hurt...and tis is the only way...i juz dun wish to go back to depression...my heart hurts every moment...i hate it...controlling my tears in office is even more worse...how long must i take to heal???
how do i let go tis r/s....i wish i could end everyting...my heart is already dead...im left with a empty shell...i take a brave step out of my shell to love him whole heartedly...in the end..i haf to go back to my shell again..and slowly...i will once again build a wall in my heart...to prevent myself from getting hurt..to prevent ppl from hurting my heart...i need to build tis wall asap...this wall will protect me...i noe is a matter of time i will heal...deep inside...i dun tink i can heal inside..an empty shell inside...a lonely soul inside....
i juz wan to cry and scream..it killing me inside every moment...

i wish i could suddenly lose all my memories of u and me together or beta is to let a car knock me dw and wake up with no memories...

i juz wan to let go every tings....im feeling very terrible inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-26T14:37:00.002+08:00

hmm..super long nv blog liao...basically...my whole office server is dw and we are all doing nth but surfing net..replying emails...and i cant take any bookings...sian lor...i surf net until i wan to vomit liao le wor...sianz....been trying to slim dw with the help of some pills...hehe...hopefully i can slim...the doctors' target is 15kg...my god...haiyo...

been in my new dept for the past one week...hmm..learning new tings and taking customer booking...still not bad..

someone in import is not very happy abt my depture and she has been showing me all the CB face and staring at me..so childish....

some one is pregnant...my god...happy for u

2 sisters are not happy with each other...haiz..wat can i do to solve their problems...

baby is not happy with me...wat can i do

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-06T09:24:00.002+08:00

long time nv blog....been resting at home for some time and coming back to work..so boring..it has been raining for weeks...so nice to nua...any way...let me update wat i got and did for my 21st birthday...

Friday 29/02/08
- dinner at Sakae Sushi
- chocolate ice cream cake
- an ang bao from import dept & Eve

Saturday 01/03/08
- dinner at Sakae Sushi again
- surprise from Ban and Baby
- converse bag
- a jacket

Sunday 02/03/08
- dinner at home
- an ang bao from auntie
- a crumple bag
- an adidas watch
- a baby G watch
- a diamond pendant + necklace
- a puma jacket
- hamster new house + equipments

Monday 03/03/08
- Half Day from work
- had dinner with Ban

Tuesday 04/03/08
- met up with papa and mama
- nua at mama house
- ate swensens
- play mahjong

hehe....anyway...BKK trip is gng to be postpone to mid oct....due to not enuff $$...mb if we could save alot..we might as well jet off to HKG...see how ba..anyway...we are planning a short trip to some places..planning a big surprise for baby in August for his birthday...
im still pending baby's present...sickening!!!!

2008-03-02T12:06:00.002+08:00

**** Friday ****

well...went for dinner with the import dept and eve...we went to eat sushi at marina sq...yum yum...den they bought chocolate ice cream cakes and gave me an ang bao..so sweet of them..i really enjoyed myself tt day...

**** Saturday ****

i really enjoyed myself so much ytd..i really need to thanks the girls and baby for giving me such a wonderful time...they all have been planning 2 weeks without me knowing...firstly, baby lie to me saying he has to work..which made me very disappointed..and next ting..ban msg me saying she cant meet us...haiz...was feeling very sad...in the end it was down to me and sam..anyway..met her and chatted along the way ...and she lure me to esplanada saying she need to take a beathe...so we stayed there for some time and when we are able to leave..baby and ban suddenly appear from behind and shouted happy birthday...gosh...tears almost came dw..but i held back..hehe....hehe..they all surprise me...thanks alot girls and baby...

**** Sunday ****

will be meeting ban and baby later to buy ham ham tings and later gng to mama there to have family dinner...

**** Monday ****

having half day to see doctor..hohohohoho...

**** Tuesday ****

on leave...baby sae we are gng to the zoo...yeah!!!!!

2008-02-20T09:53:00.002+08:00

*** Fat ***
im getting fatter and fatter...shitz...tis cant do...im have to go back to my diet plan..soso sian....
i swear i wont get marry unless i can fit into a wedding dress perfectly...haha...

*** Job ****
ytd went to willie's office to request tsf..he agree but he sae at least give him 2-3 weeks to settle some issue first...well if all dun come well....might consider quiting....coz im sick and tired of import...

will update later...

2008-02-13T16:09:00.002+08:00

**** Sleepy Pig ****

im so freaking tired these few weeks...i dun even noe wat im doing..im gng to doze off anytime any where...juz feel lk taking a long break and slp lk a pig...eat slp eat slp...im gng to be a big fat pig...boring....im so bored..that i feel lk slping at me desk..im basically doing the same ting over and over again....argh!!!!!!!!

**** V Day ****

tml is V day..will be gng to baby's hse for dinner..cant wait..he will be cooking..hehe...wonder wat else he bought for me...as for me, i did a small photo album of us and gng to buy a nice shirt for him...

nth to blog...SIANZ

2008-01-31T09:13:00.000+08:00

**** DISAPPOINTED ****

this is what im facing currently...im just so scare tt he has planned nth for V.day..i mean many people might find tt there is no big deal wat..but can you imagine...i have been wif him for 3 years already but..he has nv once bother to make plans for special days or wat...no surprises for me to look forward to...everyting was me...i plan everyting...surprise him...wat am i?? A boyfriend? he?? a Girlfriend...why do i keep finding myself planning everything...where he juz sit back and relax himself..enjoying wat i haf planned for him...mb i shd just listen to jie..dun plan anyting...jus sit back and wait...if he cant bother...y shd i bother.... i shall not planned any more things for CNY too...FUCK

**** NEGLECTED ****

i felt so neglected by him esp this week due to many tings happening..haiz...he jus dun sense im upset...how shd i bring the message across to him???...y he cant understand...haiz... and whats more..we are only meeting on fri nite and sunday..haiz..

**** BUSY ****

i have been very bz this whole week..sat morning will be meeting ban for breakfast den we go develop photos together...at nite is my family dinner...dear is oso having dinner...so wont be meeting each other... den sunday morning i will be going to dye my hair (still tinking wat colour shd i try)...den at 4pm..have to rush to marina sq to do my mani & pedi....after which..will rush over to mama there...bz bz bz bz bz

**** CONFUSED ****

im so confused...i duno to leave or to stay...ppl are leaving one by one...it struck me...i need more $$..will they increase my pay??...been tinking tinking tinking...but i dun lk sitting in a office doing the same ting everyday..i wan to do sometings more challenging..someting which require me to tink...haven been using my brain so much...hope it wont die on me soon...

2008-01-21T23:06:00.000+08:00

hmm...nth much to eat...juz working my ass off to support my bkk trip in april...ppl are leaving one by one..when will it be my turn..haiz...

currently addicted to 恶作剧2吻...

2008-01-06T13:16:00.000+08:00

hmm...2008 le...looking back...me n dear went through our ups and dw and we broke n patch for certain times...im great we cae withstand all the ups and dw together...we have indeed been thru alot alot this 3 yrs...tinking back..it really brings back many memories...
my resolution for this yr...hope i can do it ba..hehe

1) to loss some weights
2) to get able to travel to thailand with the gals this coming april
3) hoping to get someting round on my birthday
4) to find a beta job
5) to earn more $$
6) to save up more $$

and the list will go on n on forever..haiz...sian...

2007-12-16T14:15:00.000+08:00

is sunday but im still feeling so miserable and upset...he sae i changed...but hu has really changed?...if i did change...my feelings towards him has nv been changed...i nv regret all the tings i haf given up and done for him...wat disappointed me was his attitude towards tis whole issue...i guess he must be blaming me nw for all it has happened...i do not wish to blame anyone..i accept it...i accept all the fault...ytd..i took almost 3-4 hrs bus rides...i keep tinking bt us..tears keep coming dw...wat exactly have i done wrongly to deserve his treatment nw?...i will be meeting him for dinner for the last time and after tt...i decided to let go...i wonder if i can do it...letting go is always so hard....nobody is to be blame...i took it the hard way...past is already past...but y do i still continue to live in the past...everyone is rite..im too native...tinking tt as long as we love each other...we can overcome everytings...but is our character and selfish acts tt have caused so many unhappiness...we have break and patch back so many times..shouldnt we cherish tis r/s even more after wat we have gone thru...

rmb the 1st time i met him...it was simple..i tot it was fate tt brought out together...of so many sporeans..he choose to wrongly msg me...all the 1st times we done together...tinking back..it does bring tears to my eyes...but how many times can a r/s restart??...even if we restart..there will be scars...everytime im learning to heal and accept him again...tings happened...mb im not the one for him...everyting tt i done for him...means nth to him???...tt how he sae me..watever he do..i wont feel anyting...

tis chapter must close no matter wat...i wish i wont be soft hearted when i see him later...i wish i could walk away from him without showing any expression or feelings on my face...i wonder if i could do it??...
i must be strong..ppl will tend to sae..aiya...quarrel again..will patch back de la..yes..we patch back..but each time we patch back...the feeling fade alittle..the hurt adds in a little...is lk a merry go roll..everyone ask me to break...but i really cant let go...

my hopes, dreams and future of us are dashed...im left with nth...im all alone..i will learn to be strong and walk my own ways...u left me with nth...is time to let go...

2007-12-15T13:52:00.000+08:00

it has been 6 days since we quarrel and we haf not patch back at all..guess it is becoming more n more worse...guess sometimes, human being must look forward and not keep tinking bt the past...i really must learn to let go of the old tings and past in order ot move forward...we cant nv make it thru 27th...learning to let go is part of life...if i can take up this r/s...i oso must learn to learn to let go...but i guess..it is gng to take a long time before i can really let go of this whole tings...everyting has changed..this r/s has changed..the ppl in this r/s has changed too..is not lk the past anymore...jealousy...selfishness has eaten up this r/s...my forgetfulness and his jealousy and selfish act has cause this r/s to end lk tis...dreams..hope and future has been dashed...

everyting is gone...every single dreams and hopes has dashed....

is the end of the whole chapter...the story has ended...no need to ask me y...is time for me to start a new chapter of my life...i wish him all the best..believing he can find another beta girl...as for me...my dreams and hopes are dashed...i just wish to be alone for a while..and learn to begin the new chapter of my life without him....

2007-12-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

THE END....

why do tings have to turn out this way?????

i have no mood to blog and i need support from ppl....

2007-12-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

updates updates updates~~~~~

my colleague went on leave for one week leaving us to die...wtf...sian...anyway...on Tuesday nite fall sick..had really high fever and bad sore throat..but cant really be bothered...in the end wednesday took half day and went to see the doc...fever did not go dw at all..so sian..den thursday manager MC...haiz...fri went to watch 30 Days of Night...my God...damn bloody and scary...1st time im scare and insisted on gng out of the cinema before the movie ended..but this dear...refuse to go out..insisted on watching finish the whole movie..he himself was scay oso..he was cursing thru out the whole movie..haha...but really very scary tt it make me shaking and crying..somemore it was a midnite show...went hm bt 2+ in the morning...couldnt slp until 5am...keep the moment i close my eyes...the image keep flashing in my mind and i keep having nitemare..freak...they shld put this movie R21...the moviesi wan to watch are R21 - the heartbrken kid and good luck chuck..sometimes i really wish i can be 21 not becoz i wan to watch RA show..hehe...fine fine..tt was part of hte reason...despite being 21...im still mama, papa and mummy baby girl...papa's little princess who has nv grown up..he keep treating me lk a kid..but i love it...i love my mummy, mama n papa...sat...went to meet ban to bring clothes...bought a 3/4 pant... which i lk alot..hehe...sat was being maid for my parents...went ard packing food for them while they are playing mahjong...is ok..coz i get to see my cookie and cayden...i miss them so much...hehe...sun went for xian's cousin's wedding..topic back to us again...his sister asked us when is ou turn and i sae...wait till u get marry 1st..hehe...well..heard she will be getting marry next year..hehe..dear was lk wah..really ar...silly boy...

later gng to mama hse to eat KFC...oh my..i lost some weight and im back to eating again...hehe...lalalalala

2007-11-29T13:04:00.000+08:00

a very moody thursday..not becoz of work...but becoz of a lecturer...who i totally like..Mr Michael Sng passed away on 25th and i didnt know bt it until today...today is his funeral last day...which means i cant even attend...tis is truly a very shocking news..coz..he was a great lecturer to me...he hardly lost his temper at us despite we being super noisy and refusing to do his tutorials and we also keeping failing his module..he enjoying talking to us during class hours and nv hestiate to help us with alot of tings..he is always ver caring...and always let us off early for his class...i rmb he had a stroke before..but another lecturer said that he was recovering...and now lk tis...haiz...life is so unpredicable. once moment we are happily alive..next moment...ppl ard us might not be ard anymore...haiz...so sad..
i truly wish you will find ur peace in heaven...may u rest in peace....i will greatly miss u....

going to indo on 1st and 2nd...hope i can enjoy myself....

2007-11-23T11:00:00.000+08:00

is a bloody moody friday im having..it sux lk hell...i have no mood to do anyting...wat exactly is a r/s..it takes 2 hand to clap...but y i keep finding myself clapping alone...why must i do all the planning and keep surprising him whenever is our anniversary... im tired..so tired...why is it always me...y do girls have to plan everyting and surprise the guy???..shouldnt it be the guy doing this...f la...wat is tis...im so fed up lor...suppose to meet up to discuss next mth things but we nv meet in the end..i hate it when he breaks promises...if nv meet..y keep u call and discuss thru phone..this shows that u cant be bothered at all...yyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..everyting cant be bother..den y must i bother so much..y must i put in so much effort for u when u juz sit there and enjoy all my effort..u tink juz becoz u throw $$ and pay for it means u are so big...so wat...i plan everyting and u juz pay tt bloody $$ to enjoy...wat for...this surprise is lk im planning for myself...i always wanted surprises from u..but all these 3 yrs i got nth from u...i bear wif it.. but i cant stand it...u juz dun bothered...so wat the fuck u wan...im super angry at u...

fine...if u heck care or dun even wan to bother...i wont put my mind, tinking and effort in anyting anymore.. i wont do any planning...u wan..u go clap urself..i gif up on u and im so fucking giving up on this r/s...im making this r/s work and there u are destroying all my effort...i hate you...FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-22T09:48:00.000+08:00

well well well..is thurday..so fast..ytd had a meeting...was a tense meeting...hate to have this kind of feeling in a meeting...dun lk dun lk...haiz...it time for me to do someting le...

many tings have been happening at hm...hope everyting is well for clarissa.

To Jie...i noe u noe the rules..but rmb to play the game smart and dun overplay...dun get hurt k...

to xian...u beta save up ur $$ and stop spending lk siao....argh!!!!

sianz sianz sianz.....

2007-11-20T12:08:00.000+08:00

so sianz...is tuesday le...mama & papa is now at vietnam having their hoilday...cant wait fot them to come back..miss them so much...time flies so fast..still kinda of miss school days where i can nua..sleep in the class...juz miss those days...haiz...i guess i have to postpone being a student at BBDC till next yr after i come back from BKK. cant have 2 tings at one go..no $$ to support liao..
i really need to leave this sucky place before i go crazy...i do not wan to get involve in anyting..leave me alone...i juz wan to do my work....it sux soso much tt i wish i could get out of this yucky place at once!!!!!!!...tis stupid is so biased!!!!!!..unfair to ppl...haiz...really duno wat to sae...jie sae jus go..y for tink for others when others are not tinking for u....mayb is true huh...
im a dip holder and i shd get wat i deserve...im working my ass out for tt little $$..haiz...F la

2007-11-16T17:41:00.000+08:00

hmm...5.41pm le..gng to go hm soon..later meeting boy..can hug him and smell him again..just miss him so much even thought i juz saw him ytd...hmm...decided to be a student at BBDC le..gng down next following tuesday as i took leave on tt day...hmm..i must choing for my driving..hope can pass and dun throw so much $$ into it..i oso need to spare times to go dw and take my practice all this..i really hope i can get my license by the end of next yr..tt is my plan..hope everyting goes smoothly as i plan wor...

having lots and lots of plans and wishes for the yr 2008...

1) to slim down
2) my driving license
3) a new job with a beta pay
4) to study my degree
5) a beta r/s with boy
6) my whole family including the Teos to be healthy and happy.
7) to get a PSP
8) to get a new watch
9) to get a new bag
10) earn more $$.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

still tinking wor...i know i know...cant be too greedy ya....i understand....

***** anyway, thanks to Xin Hui for your help on the BBDC and ur advice. *****

2007-11-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

blogging again before i go home..jie stunned me wif all the marriage tingys..and i call xian up...he sounded so sad after i told him all the tings and wat happened...im sorry...i didnt mean it...but the thoughts all suddenly flow in...im scared...scared of marrying the wrong guy...i do not wish to suffer. will he be able to support the family..with the housing, stacks of bills...i noe..we should face it together..but i had enuff of the suffering im facing nw..i saving lk shit and he is spending lk shit...kao..is in and already out...haiz...i nv stop or interfer with him buying 4Ds or Toto...i mean..he lks...even if im angry or wat...i kept quiet..coz i dun wan to create another fight...haiz...
wat if i marry the wrong guy??...haiz...
wat exactly is marriage all about???....why does this question always appear in my mind...simply hateful bt it...i need advice from ppl...im scared and worry for our future..but he is...happy go lucky...i guess..i will be the one worrying all my life..haiz...y cant i be more lk him..happy go lucky and stop worrying for once...but guys will always be guys...they need girls to worry for them...anyone agree wif him??..

concerts concerts concerts...i wan to go liang jin ru and jay chou concert...but all so ex..and bloody jay chou's tickets are selling lk mad...save up save up for my driving and bangkok trip...
once again...any one else wan to join our BKK trip??..the more the merrier...hehehe...

it is 5.32pm now...1/2 hr more to go...i wan to go mama hse quick coz boy will be there..i wan to hug and smell boy...i love you...hehehe

**** im praying hard that i have not fallen for the wrong guy******

2007-11-15T09:51:00.000+08:00

hmm...woke up this morning wif a very very bad sore throat...temper is bad too...r/s wif boy cannot be praise de...surely got tings happened de...ytd nite quarrel again..i was completely stunned when he sae he dun mind sharing his gf...i was lk huh????....WTF are you talking...anyway..cant be bothered too...heck him...talking rubbish...no mood to quarrel with him coz i simply have no idea wat to sae...gng to fall sick soon..can feel the throat wan to explode liao...should i eat more crackers and heaty food to make it explode so i will feel more comfortable...is lk someting stuck at my throat nw..lagi more worse...sianz..

many ppl are advicing me to go BBDC and register as a student.. but i need to save up enuff $$ and spare time for this...i work 9-6 and have to rush dw from IP to BBDC...is a far distance..sianz...

anyone wif job can intro me???...haiz...considering doing part time job...but tt would means..im going to lose all the time i can to pei boy...haiz...

2007-11-14T17:26:00.000+08:00

hmm...jie is back from thailand...she had lot lot of fun..can see tt...haha...ok..it is official...me, boy, ban and sam are all jetting off to BKK next yr april...waiting for jetstar to have promotion then we will book immediately...anyone else interested to join us??? all are welcome to join us..hehe...fun fun fun...it will be fri all the way to mon..which means...i can shop till i drop at the Chatuchak..hehe...wasted..tt time i only managed to shop for 1/2 day coz i simply cannot stand the heat...it was eating me up and making me loss my temper...tis time..i will ren...shop shop shop..wahahaha...i need to save up lots of $$ to shop...hoho...
basically my savings will all go to BKK trip i gues...when can i go register my BTT...gng dw to bbdc to renew my membership and book a slot where i can take my BTT...which will be next week...sianz...haiz...i need to put my heart into this...anyway..need to find a new job tt can help me support all the expense im facing...im gng to be broke with the salary im earning....
giving $$ to mummy...my hp bills...my internet bills...haiz...lunch is so ex..tt im basically gng to eat bread or maggie mee...mayb i can slim dw huh...my stupid itching mouth..lk to munch on food...sianz..gng to indoesnia on dec the 1st and 2nd...so fast...mama and papa is flying to vietnam on the 18th all the way to 25th...i will miss them so much...hehe...anyway..my weekends are all packed...sat morn meet mama n papa for bkfast before gng to pray ah gong..den afternoon might be gng to ban's hse to "protect" her...haha...den nite is party party party...hehe...sunday...still tinking whether to meet boy for bkfast or go for my combat class...

im sitting on a fence now..should i join BBDC as a student or take BTT and FTT as a private den convert to student??...sianz...i need advice from ppl...haiz...

im crossing my finger now...the r/s between boy and me is gng fine and a bit on the happy side already...but will he go back to the same pattern in a few mths times??...im scare and worry...dun wan to go throu the whole hurting and healing process again...im just so softhearted...the more i love him..the more i put in into the r/s and worse the more hurt i get...but will he be the same lk me...

we went to see the Ji Gong on sat..before boy open his mouth,. the ji gong sae he is a stubborn pig and hot tempered. which i agree and i think i can believe this ji gong abit..he also sae boy have 2 gf and he will have 3 marriages..which made me a little on the worry side...can u imagine hearing this kind of things...break my heart...anyway..i choose to keep quiet and he didnt sae anyting too...ji gong ask boy to come back to look for him when he is married...hmm...wonder will he bless us??..haha
my turn..he sae im a weak hearted person..which i agree..he sae i lack of blood which is true...my white blood cells are on the higher end den my red blood cells....haiz...long post...

anyway...gng to combat later..jia you..

2007-11-12T14:22:00.000+08:00

hmm....well well well...jie is in BKK nw...hehe...enjoying...so good...it has come to a day where i start to drag my feet to work....i hate it...whenever i start dragging my feet to work means im no longer interested in the job anymore...which is quite true..i hate my job and i want to change job...i must open my eyes big enuff to see...i wan to see the world...

talk to xian's sister last week...hmm...she completely stunned me...she asked me when their family can meet my family and talk bt me and xian marriage...i was lk huh??? WTF???...hehe...anyway i do wan to get marry..but at 20, is a bit too young for me and mum is not totally too open minded on this kind of issue...we planned...2 yrs later...im 22 and he is 26...yaya...he is not getting any younger but his stupid tinking is..so blur and foolish little boy...tt's wat i love bt him...3 yrs and i still love him alot...im glad tt the spark is still there and i have not completely lose my feelings for him...i still love him alot..hope he loves me alot too...
i love him more and more each day...wonder how he feels bt me...
everyting happened for a reason...hmm....wondering wondering wondering...lalalala...

2007-11-07T10:31:00.000+08:00

hmm....2007 is coming to an end soon....just 1 month and a few weeks....times fly...everyone is moving on with their own life and doing wat they like...wat do i wan...
the craving to climb suddenly attacked me...wat exactly do i wan in life?...to get marry and haf a happy family...
dun tink so ba...with situtation lk this...vcery hard to tink bt our future anymore...juz felt the feeling is not there anymore...im so softhearted.
life in somewhere is so unfair...ppl getting salary without doing anyting....ppl stuck in a position with no place to climb....is so unfair...i need to noe wat is my talent...i wan to noe wat i wan in life? to earn big $$ and provide mum, mama and papa with the best...i had enuff of my life...with someppl not tinking....just spending $$ lk water...yes...saving up...but is all ur interest...tinking bt parents? giving parents $$...hope tt someone wakes up soon...i noe when i was schooling...i had no $$ to give..but im working...i contributed...this is a family of 3...not 2...i noe u wan to enjoy life...go overseas...i wan tt too...but i have to tink...is ok u dun wan to come home...at least gif some $$...dun ask me how much...it comes from your heart....everyone is heart broken and worry bt you...dun let us worry...u need to mature fast...we might sae we gif up on u..but deep dw..we will nv gif up on u...we sense a change in you..maybe a more self centre you? dun tink so ba...coz i noe u care for us....
and i hate how u bring me dw...u sae all those remark discouraging me...it breaks my heart and i really wanted to cry...i noe my dreams or ideas....i am not captable of doing them...but dun break my dreams...dun bring me dw....i wan to work in hotel line...u sae all those remarks..really hurt me alot...i now u didnt mean it...but it really hurts..just to let u noe...ppl ard you are not happy with ur attitude...but we are willing to bear coz we are family...we care for u...sometimes we might nag at you and u dun lk...but hey...if we dun care...we wont nag...i miss the old jie...
i jus wan to sae..how much i love u n jie...coz u 2 are the best best jies i ever had in this life and i hope i will still be you 2 younger sister in the next life...i dun wish to see both of u getting hurt or wat...pls slow dw on your footstep and tink or look back for awhile.. =)

my relationship with him is hurting more and hurt...we are always quarreling...hurting each other with all the remarks...haiz...

met up with my 2 buddies...i miss u guys so much....meet up real soon again!!

2007-10-29T17:47:00.000+08:00

well well well...been long time nv blog liao...he has been extremely nice to me...which is a bit scary...anyway...this 2 mths..

ytd was fun fun fun....cooking day....yummy...everyone in my family praise me...thanks guys for your courage to eat the food i cook...my 2 sweetest babies ate too...cookie came up to me and said " yummy yummy"....so swt of her...for dessert we had chocosimu....which was yummy too...hohoho....eating non stop...

2007-10-13T11:08:00.000+08:00

well...almost a week has past already...life still not tt prefect for me ba....i still feel heart pain and alot of hurt...had a fighting over the sms....wat he sae me has really really hurt me so much...all i can do was break dw and cry....nth i could back..watever i sae him..he gave me back double blow...hurt hurt hurt is wat im feeling nw...i wish i could be happy..but im juz lying to every single ppl on this earth...they see me luffing and cheerful..cracking jokes with them...im sad..so sad inside...everyting seem to be gng against me..y must i suffer so much????....

he sae watever he do...i will feel nth...all these yrs...all the hurt and pain...tears and concern and worry towards him are all fake...i nv knew he could suspect my feelings towards him...he nv trust me....

i guess...this is where our r/s will end up...

**** heart broken and despressed ******

2007-10-11T16:26:00.000+08:00

well...is me again..cooling off perio huh...he msg me and we quarrel again..lack of understanding or lack of trust...why cant he trust me..i NV betray him....why keep tinking that im betraying him...i already sae i did not..why why why why

%#$*!%*#%&#%&!$!$)!%#$@%_%!

2007-10-10T11:28:00.000+08:00

well....guess i will be blogging regularly cause i totally dont how to express my feelings out to ppl...found someting ytd...was gng throu my disc and i found some photos of us and a ppt...i rmb i did the ppt for him...i gave it to him...guess my heart hurt so much i didnt noe wat to do...i wrote him a 3 page long letter stating my feelings and problem...i wonder wat he tinks...mayb he is very happy cause there is no gf ard and he can do watever he want..maybe he is not sad at all..he juz live his live happily without me...wat if he is not sad??? wat am i to him???...
just a puppet...im really lost...i lost my direction in life...i try to make myself bz...doing alot of stuff...but deep down im lonely...so lonely...i dun wish to go out...coz going out means i have to see couple..but staying at home makes me ttm...i wan to make this 2mths so packed i dun have time to tink bt him...but i always tink bt him...i noe he is managing well..cause there was hardly any sms from him...i guess he is fine...im not...

i wish i wish i wish.....how long must i wish???....

2007-10-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

my life is crushing down on me now...nv realised we will end up in tis kind of relationship...im trying to be brave...keep luffing...being the cheerful me...deep down...im feeling so bloody sad tt i wish i could walk in front of a car...bang me...make me lose my memories of him...i dun wan to rmb him..i dun wan to rmb anyting about him...i dun wan dun wan...i feeling so misery inside...i dun wan ppl to worry bt me..i only can cry at nite...i do not wan ppl to see my tears..to realise how much i miss him so much...he was my everyting..i noe im still young...but i really lk him alot...i need a lot alot of sad songs...to make me cry...i wan to cry....im holding on too much...i wan to break down...who can i turn to...if i turn to steven..he will sure be angry with me...im acting brave in front of all...im not alright..i miss him so much..but this have to be settled one day...
we can still pretend nth has happened...but the problem will always be there...we will quarrel bt the same ting over and over again..haiz...he is one strange guy...one moment he is loving and nice...next moment he is lk a monster...

i guess after all these years...i still have not changed at all...im still a sadist...haiz...after so long...i always tot i have recovered...mayb i should go and see doctor...without letting anyone know..i should go book a appt and go look for the doctor...i guess should i require any medication...i should stop running away...from the fact i still suffer alot from depression??....mayb i really tink too much...tt's y im suffering so much...

*** i promise i will slim down in 2mths time and let you see the new me and i will live happily without you this 2mths.... ****

2007-09-28T12:26:00.000+08:00

Im having PMS and it sux lk hell.....losing temper at ppl..easily irritated by ppl and want to cry..wat is gng on with me...i hate it i hate it i hate it...it seems to get worse and worse...
this whole week..been losing my temper at him...i hate it...and he juz bear with it all the while...make me feel soso bad...

wat exactly is marriage??? just a piece of paper??...my mum's marriage failed...my jie's marriage oso failed...will mine oso failed...wat is wrong with our love life???...are we cursed..forever a loser in love...well...to me..im a failure in every part of my life...i hate it...
i hate everyting in this world...im juz a bloody loser... go on and tell me wat a wondeful life i have and fortune to have tings tt i wan...but hey..i earn them myself...im so broke and im lk working my ass off...i wan to be wif my ah gong & ah ma...in heaven where everyting is care free...
wish i have the courage to stand in front of the car and let them bang me to death..or i lost all my memories??....i really wan to lose all my memories and restart my life again. my life sux really bad..i really wan to restart everytings with new memories...all my sad and painful past and memories all completely erase from my mind and brain...restart with fresh memories...mb one day i shd pluck up my courage and stand in front of a road and let them bang me...losing my memories...how i wish...

i wish i wish.....
-to lose all sad, painful and hurt past and memories....
- i didnt noe him...so he will not be sad....
- i have a new life
- i have more frens
- to open up myself

all these are juz stupid wishes....

I HATE MYSELF FOR CAUSING SO MUCH MISERY, UNHAPPINESS AND HURT TO PPL AROUND ME...IM HATE IT..IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-14T16:33:00.000+08:00

is friday!!!! yeah!!!.....im freaking tired...ytd went yoga wif eve, almost fainted inside...my god...my back hurts lk hell....i totally fully banned HOT YOGA...no more hot yoga...nth much to blog lei...

sian sian sian sian sian!!!!!!

2007-09-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

sian ar...im sitting in front of the computer doing nth...i have clear my shipments and i cant close files due to agent not giving me back $$...hate to chase CN and DN from them...DN they give super fast..CN...kao..chase them lk siao...
i cant find anyting to do...argh!!!!

what I'm wishing for...
- more money
- to study again
- more clothes
- to slim down
- a ring from Him
- car license
- good health for everyone
- to be happy

dream dream dream....i need to slim dw!!!!!! im eating lk no body business....argh!!!!!

2007-09-03T17:57:00.000+08:00

monday again...so sian...well long time nv update again...really had fun wif boy in BKK...hehe..but last day was the worst day i had...i kana stomach flu...so freaky painful that i wish i could jus die that...went to see 24hrs doctor wif boy and he took care of me for the rest of the day...
i wan to go back BKK again...planning next yr go again..tis time, wif boy, sam and ban..any one else care to join???? haha...all are welcome...

work work work...been into alot of troubles lately...i hate work...y cant i just stay at hm and be a tai tai..hoho...lk tt boy will kill me...sian
well, seems lk our future are being planned out by us slowly le...getting a hse is the worst ting..it really involve alot alot alot of $$$$$...his mum is also chasing us to get marry which is kind of stress...dun lk tt lei...but i really lk to have little xians running away the hse...greeting boy when he comes hm from work...haha...im day dreaming again...okok

going hm nw.bye~~~

2007-07-26T18:26:00.000+08:00

hmm..super super long nv blog liao...been working working and working...feel lk a cow...who has to work non stop..been raining for a few days le...super cooling...well boy is gng for his basic theory next mth..hope he can pass...i really wan to go for my BTT but im simply too bz to do tt..haiyo...actually i noe is a excuse la..but hor...tml me n boy gng to fisherman's wharf to eat...2 yrs 7mth le wor...soso fast...den next mth we are gng to bangkok...yeah...4D3N...hope it will be a fun trip..big uncle is moving in to stay with us...haiz...sian..suddenly having a guy staying at my hse after so long...nv had a guy staying at our hse...ppl might tink..ur daddy lei?...well dad is a malaysian who hardly comes home...and he has nv step into our hse for over 10 yrs already...to me..he is declare dead...i treat it as i nv had tis daddy ba...anyway...mama put up an offer for me...to stay at her hse on sat n sun..im still considering this offer...wonder if mum will accept...

and i make up my mind for my 21st. im not gng to have any big celebrates. i guess due to the fact tt i have very little frens ba..hehe...anyway..oso very mai fan la..need to book place, buffet ask mama to cook and invite ppl...all this..i wanna skip..so i juz have a simple dinner wif my frens and family ba...i prefer it this way..

2007-05-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

Ah gong pass away last fri...i was totally stunned..my beloved grandpa left us....and i didnt visit him at all..i can only blame myself....seriously...we are not very close...but tinking back of the times we spend together...i totally regret not gng to visit him...work is always just a excuse...y didnt i visit him on fri nite....there are some many why gng through my head..but i noe i cant turn back the time...reading ah gong's diary and seeing him being cremate was the most heartbreaking feeling i ever had....my beloved ah gong..gone lk a wind...really hope he is happy wif ah ma in their new big hse
i really wan to write dw all the feeling and sadness i haf inside me but i duno where to start...
just hate this kind of feelings...
i miss you ah gong...miss you soso much.....

2007-04-26T22:27:00.000+08:00

been so long since i last blog..been bz bz bz bz bz.....me n boy are saving up all we can so as ot get marry...haha...been waiting waiting waiting...hope 4 yrs is enuff for us to save up...he waiting for me to sae yes...i waiting for him to save up..us waiting for our house to be build...

working this line is soso stressful...argh...ok..gng to slp nw...tata

2007-04-14T10:38:00.000+08:00

hmm...super long nv blog le...nth much haf happened...juz became more n more bz liao...haiz...
but one ting seem to change...my feeling for him....not much sparks i tink...is it a habit or love??....
not sure...dun feel lk blogging much either...tata...

2007-03-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

hmm...long time nv blog le ba...been rather bz lately as nw i fuly handle all the china shipment...felt happy =)
made a mistake on monday morning and the rest of day is bad..super bad...continue to make even more mistakes...wanted to cry...but i held back all my tear and only broke dw after i saw boy...totally broke dw...my god...haiz...really..tis job can make a person cry...haiz...
last sat play mahjong until 4am in the morning den go hm slp...well..as usual..mum was angry...haiz..den sunday went to boy's hm to cook..hehe..felt happy..cooking for my loved one...den his mum sae is nice n yummy..hope is true..but i rmb the skin of the chicken was lk plastic...my 1st time cooking and dear gave me a 99/100... -_-"
hahaha..well..he did help me to clean up, wash up, pour oil, cut the chicken and also marinate the chicken too..hehe...
next sat cooking hmm..the jap steam egg and mayb pork chop....need to got some reciepe book...hehe..
tis sat gng to malaysia wif mama, boy n papa...hehe..cant wait..lalala

blogging off le...lalalalalala

2007-03-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

hmm....sitting in front of my office computer staring at nth...my neck is starting to hurt again...pain pain....cant wait for dear to help me apply the lotion n massage for me...miss him to bits...but had a huge fight on sun and he juz shouted loudly at me...me?...at tt moment...my world n heart came crashing down..not sure y lei...but the tears juz started flowing down by themselves...it kinda hurt alot lor....haiz...but after a while...we are back top normal...we always quarrel and end up...lk nth has happened be4...haiz...but guess...he always got to bear with my short temper and my rubbish..and he always walk away calmly to prevent my fire going up..
ANYWAY....my leg sole is sososo ugly...yucks!!!...nv let ppl see my leg...so yucky...sianz.....

i really hope to get marry in 4 yrs time...he is saving real hard now...hope we can really make it lor...2 yrs and 3 mths..we are still counting on....jia you....hehe..ok..signing off nw...gotta do my tings le...
tata~~

2007-03-15T19:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm...been working for 4 days le...actually really enjoy working..the more i learn..the more i wan to learn.. work work work...finally grad le...got my result for IAP...ok la...not bad...but my overall average score cant get me to a spore Uni....sad ar...

so tired after work...juz feel lk going straight to bed and be a zzz monster...i dun mind...hahaha

wont be blogging tt much le ....too tired to log in computer when im using office computer from 9-6....my god...

2007-03-10T13:11:00.000+08:00

well....is sat le...2 more days before i offically start working....been rather excited on this new job..meeting new ppl...and a new working enviroment ...times really pass fast man....ytd went shopping...spend over 200+...haiz....investment on office wear...sian....haiz....nth much to blog oso...going erge hse later...lalalala....tired....

I HAVE NO WATER AT HOME TO BRUSH MY TEETH N BATH N EAT N CHANGE MY TURTLES' WATER....MY GOD...IM A DIRTY GIRL.....YUCKS....

2007-03-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

hmmm...10 more mins to the end of my birthday...im finally 20 yrs old le..big gal...haha...update on my prom nite ba...

went for prom nite on fri...i guess it was nice...had a great laugh and the food was yum yum..hehe....after dinner went drinking and hm swt hm..reach hm bt 2am .....i miss my bed...hehe

sat went over to mama hse den meet jie n hua for dinner...later on meet sam n ban for coffee...drank until 11+ den went back to mama hse again...whole family celebrate birthday for me at the stroke of 12...soso sweet...was special this yr..having my family ard me....hehe....had cookies & cream ice cream cake..yummy....

this morning went to temple to pray wif mum n boy...went back home to slp..at nite went to ang mo kio to eat crab...is a sin...my god..damn yummy lor..hehe...den we went to cookie hse for awhile before gng to esplanade...caught the fireworks when we were in the cab...was pretty close up.....happy....lalalalala..

no more work for me until 12/3....meanwhile..i need to rest n nua....lalalalalala....

2007-03-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

hmm....finally..my last day in HP is tml..yeah...celebrate....but sian...my prom nite tml lei...argh...my bottom still haben buy at all..i gave up...lazy to go find and also due to the time i have....sian...tml going over to mama there 1st den back to meet the ladies....bz bz bz...im fully booked until next mon...argh...birthday this sunday...so fast...sian..im 20 liao...haiyo....

wat i wish to get
1) $$$$$...hehe
2) a new crumpler bag...
3) a new hp...

tt's all...haha..shopping for office wear next week....haiz...spend spend..im spending more den wat i earn..F..

saw boy's brother juz nw inside the police car....he told me there was a police car comign our way n i kidding tell him his brother is inside going to catch him...and he reply..."ya rite..."...
nv did he noe tt..the guy inside holding all the coffee is indeed his bro...haha...but he didnt see us la...hehe...

ending here..wan to go b a ZZZZ pig liao....

wanna slim dw!!!!!!!

2007-02-21T13:20:00.000+08:00

well...time passed very fast...next fri is my sch prom nite...gosh..i havent even buy clothes...die die...
sianz...CNY holidays are over...argh...managed 2 catch a movie on chuyi...andy lau tt show...was nice...gambling for 3 days...huat ar....haha...but due to the stupid erge..i lose $30++....bleah!!!!!......i swear nv to play wif him again....stupid...damn lucky lor..learning to play mahjong..thanks to dear for his patience in teaching me...haha...
ytd saw my two precious babies...cookie n cayden...soso sweet when they kiss me one by one....with a big 'muack sound'..just love them so much...

basically...im rotting in this office and im going crazy if i dun leave quick....haha...the new IAP students are coming in next week...hopefully i can teach them within 5 days...rest 1 week den im officially into the working society..haiz...work work work.....

one couple breaking up...haiz...all i can do is to prevent the breakup...i tried my best and hope for the best nw...haiz...wat is love????

2007-02-16T07:46:00.000+08:00

hmm..back from batam....really really had great fun there....will be back there soon....haha..the dinner was nice...romantic setting...hehe....make a promise to each other that we will be back here every valentine's day....haha..hopefully can ba....

2 more days to CNY and im lk having a very bad sore throat...i hate sore throat lor....painful..a**...was pretty angry at the harbourfront taxi stand there...the security guard is damn F up lor....birdbrain..dun wan to sae out but he is damn birdbrain...feel lk giving him one tight slap....

tonite is bz bz bz....gonna help mummy with the CNY buying at the wet market tonite..gthey operating 24hrs tonite...hehe...tml is manicure and den reunion dinner at erge hse...hehe..

kkk....dun wish to blog anymore....tired abd slpy...

2007-02-12T11:51:00.000+08:00

monday liao...damn fast sia....well..need not worry bt my job liao..coz i found one...haha..and i got hte job..althought the pay is lk 1.2..but is ok la...deduct my CPF..left bt $900+...hope can survive ba...hehe...so my HP job will end on the 2/3 and my new job will be on the 12/3...wahahahaha...

tinking my falling sick soon...my throat hurts lk hell and im lk having flu..i hate tt...yucks....

tml gng batam..yeah!!!!......enjoy enjoy enjoy......beta enjoy while i still can...lalalalala

2007-02-08T10:06:00.000+08:00

well...one good news i have......i am GRAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...but here come the bad news....I being enrolled into the working society and i cant grad until im old and dying???...haha...i hate to find jobs...no more sch life for me..i miss sch...ytd presentation was well done...lol...tt was wat my lecturer sae and my boss call me blur queen.....pui....haha....anyway....juz felt i had to grow up overnite..no more childish me...no more lady temper....a more matured me....i haf to find a good job to support myself from now on......everyting is moving damn fast lor....F.....i hate it...i juz hate it...i duno wat job to find...wat i wan to work as...im lost...so damn freaking lost in this society....

anyway...ytd went to boy's family dinner...hmm..the food was nice...lol..nv really been exposed to this kind of yummy food before...hehe...but i kinda haf a strange feeling...i felt out of place...mayb i duno how to tok ba..nth to tok???...oso duno .....me n his bro's wife oso hardly tok..juz smile...his sisters too....haiz...when will i ever speak up and tok to them.....time is all i need ba...

boy sae he wont be meeting me on sat anymore....only at nite....coz he need to work wif his daddy...he is saving up $$...1st time see him so serious...hehe..saving up for marriage...wonder it will take how long????....
so meaning i will be bored to death in the afternoon...facing mummy....argh....i noe...been a good girl and pei mummy....but she is dam naggy....argh....suppose to help her to do some CNY shopping...tis means i have to go to the wet market....haha....actually i do lk gng to the wet market..but nv ask me to buy vegetables...i duno them well...lol..tell me the chinese name of the vegetable and i will go "WTF???"..haha..i noe..my chi cannot make it....haha...

oh ya..i finally upgrade my lappy speed to 512...tt cost me a bloody $150.....argh..heng got mama to pay half for me..if not..i xiong ar....

and oso...went back to popular tt day...is nice seeing them...hehe...alot of progs coming up wif them oso...gng chiong...play pool..gng overseas with them...haha...i need $$$...

BAN is BACK....lol...met her on mon with samy....went to essential Brew...bloody hell....the food there sux lor....yucks..not nice de...pui..and it cost us $80...my god..so ex..me n sam were stunned lor....but i lk the place la..nice to nua...hehe...tink tt can only eat finger food and the drinks...haha....

Valentine's day coming next week...and i will be spending it overseas....hehe..and i get to do spa...yesh yesh yesh!!!!!..im damn happy...a time for me to relax...and im also having valentine's day dinner there...hope it will be nice n lomantic.....12-15 Feb...here i come....den after tt is CNY le...so fast..after tt is my Sch prom nite...den is my BD....and im 20 le...sianz....next yr im 21...haha...lalalalala.....everyting moving so fast....i need a remote control...i need to rewind it backward and not forward....hahaha.....

2007-01-31T15:41:00.000+08:00

well....is thu already...long time nv blog liao le wor...hehe...sian...my laptop crashed on me lor...my hard disk...and is lk my final presentation is next week...tt is my most impt day of my life...kao...all the bad tings start to happen to me...
last wed waas the heartbreaking moment for me...he dump me alone at orchard and has the cheek to ask me to watch the movie alone....he didnt even bother to sae sorry to me...if he tired...shd tell me earlier so i can ask other ppl to pei me watch...we already book the ticket the day be4....wtf....he didnt even sae sorry bt it..he act nth has happened..
i was so sad...i wanted to end tis r/s...i mean...haiz...juz duno how to pen down my thoughts...juz felt so lost now....sian....

2007-01-22T15:04:00.000+08:00

well...is monday....starting off wif a slpy eyes...haiz...sian lei...back pain....sian lor..every time back pain...duno wat is wrong or im old...
2 more weeks or so is gng to by CNY le....bnefore tt...14th is Valentine's day.....prety fast huh....even be4 tt is my final report presentation....7th Feb....im quite worry wor...sianz...
denim gng batam on the 13-15 of feb lor...heehee...celebrate V day.....den is CNY le...i will be working in HP until 2/3/2007 by myself...no one is extending to pei..so lunch time will properly be skipped all the time lor..haha..lk tt can slim down rite...yesh!!!!....
after tt will be my 20th bd...omg..im lk hitting the 20s liao le lor..sian 1/2.....and ban is coming back next week...soso fast...hehe...

2007-01-16T08:39:00.000+08:00

well well...hehe...finally got the time to sit down n blog....acutally is juz lazy to blog la...so fast..january is coming to an end le...everyting is moving so fast hor...2 more weeks for me to hand in my final report lor...so sianz....

it has been raining cats and dogs tis few day...but dec 06 was terrible..almost everyday was lk raining...

well...we went to cookie hse on 25/12/2006 for christmas party and every one was there...hehe..except for erge and his wife la..they are in shanghai...hehe..cookie n cayden was happy..
i was happy too...dage bought me a neckalce from SK ...boy slept over at my hse...

any way...we went to thailand...had great fun there...it is not as scary as jie had sae before ba...everyting was fine..juz fine...i lk tt...didnt really buy alot of tings ...juz some food lor...i miss the shark fin there....so yummy...the tot of it make me hungry all the time...and boy promise me tt we will go back thailand again...and tis time..it will be longer...hopefully it will be on a weekend coz...i can go to chatuchak.. the weekend market where that is alot alot of tings to buy..wahahahaha...came back on the 28th dec and he slept over again...

29th Dec we went to port dickson...damn sunny in malaysia...hehe...is lk there was flood and heavy rain but the weather was lk sunny when we got there...sat in the bus for 5 hrs or so....boy slp n slp n slp....reach there in the afternoon...went to our room and boy was i happy to see the room...i got the lower level...which means i will have glass panel on the floor..hehe...interesting..the bathroom was lk wah...haha...but most of the time we nua inside there lor...we return to singapore the next day...at nite all becoz of the bus that was late for lk 2hrs plus...i was stuck in melaka...sianz...but i ate A&W....hehe..

30th dec...i was on the way back to malayisa again...pei mama n papa go lor...hehe..boy came along too...hehe...went to dragon fruit farm..longan farm...actually all quite fun la...bought lots of food back....hehe...so much so scary...hehe...came back on the 1st Jan..so tis yr i miss the fireworks in singapore...but spending time wif boy in other countries..was worth it...hehe..

it has been 2 yrs and counting......thanks sweety for everyting u done for me...
i noe i haven been a very good gf..always making u worry and angry..coz i nv listen to u and nv take good care of my health...but i promise u...it will be a beta yr for the both of us...

2006-12-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

well....time passes very fast huh....gng to be 2007....i wan to slim down..and i really mean it lor..haiz...but im lk a big eater...i hate tt..haha...all those good food...omg...

had another fight wif him again...juz dun understand...y...juz so damn tried lor...and is lk we are gng overseas le..yet all this $#!$!%*#%*! tings happened to me n him....life sux big time....
happily ever after are all lies...wat snow white..cinderella....bullshit????....
juz wanna cry out...i noe..im a cry baby..all i noe is how to cry..every ting oso cry..but crying is the only way i can express myself and destress...after a big cry..i feel i can fall aslp faster and having a beta slp ba....haiz...im such a cry baby...

2006-12-07T18:09:00.000+08:00

it has been donkey weeks since i last blog..been pretty lazy and alot of tings have been happening ard me...
Well..i break down in front of him...cant take it any more..juz wanted to have a good cry over it...guess im lk tt...i juz wont sae out all the tings..until i cannot take it anymore..i will cry out loud and start saying all the rubbish...i guess im lk tt....
bz bz bz after some changes in the position...haiz..sad to sae tis...but i @!!#%@$!@%^!#^!$#
hehe...life sux rite...ha
and now..im lk working 8-6...juz to pay back HP 32 hours in order not to have my pay cut...sian lor...wat a good life i have...
gng to BKK wif him n his frens...wonder how it will goes...im praying and keeping my finger cross....

Mr Choo...do save up u noe..is for the future...whether i be Mrs Choo anot...all depends on u le...
understooded????.....

2006-11-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

hmmm..is wednesday le...2 more days to the weekend and i can see him....haha...
well...had a fight wif him again...is lk...whenever i really need him by my side..he juz not there for me...haiz..complicated!!!!...so..jie send me to BPP...went ard wif her lor...nth much oso lei...haha..later go home myself...well..tue..im sick..eat wat vomit wat..sianz...went over to his hse for dinner...end up i cook dinner for me n him....ha..1st time i cook for him lei..hehe..i noe is not nice..but he ate everyting up..hehe...sweet guy...

well well..he surprise me tis morning...haha...went out of the hse as normal and my lift stop at lvl 9 and guess wat...i saw him..he came to bring me to work lor...so sweet of him..hehe...i juz love him alot...haha

His duty is out...mon, fri, sat and sun he dun need to work..tis means he can pei me...wahahaha...he asked if it was beta tis way as he got more time for me compared to last time...im still tinking lei..will tell u the ans when i tink finish..haha...
Morning shift 8am-3pm
Nite shift 3pm-10pm
gng cycling on sat...yesh!!!...haha...lalalalala...

He's MINE....Im HIS....Muacks...i love you....

2006-11-20T08:57:00.000+08:00

hmmmis monday...a new sickening week has started...yucks...i hate monday...sianz...a long week day is here...haha...hmm..been planning on where to go...tink shd be going to malaysia ba..since it is having year end sale...yesh!!!...haha
had a nice weekend...i juz love weekends alot...coz weekends mean...i can see him...i can hold his hand..i can hug him..i can do alot of fun tings wif him..wonder how he feels...hehe...

Oh ya..i saw 'big eye' guy today...lol.....nth much le...
oh ya...sweety is being posted to be MassBoy...in other words is call "Waiter"...hahahahahah...oops...hehe

*i miss you and i love u alot alot...hehe*

2006-11-17T09:01:00.000+08:00

hehe.....is friday...finally...long awaited weekend is here...haha....been a very gd girl recently..staying at home nv go out at all except tue la..went to meet him...omg..i miss him soso much lor...hehe...juz love being by his side...i wonder if he feel tis way also...hehe....
but wed, thu and fri he outfield lor..sian

If Mr Choo is seeing tis....
I miss u lk crazy...really miss alot alot alot..hehe...muacks...

2006-11-12T17:22:00.000+08:00

hmm...is sunday...one week has pass again...haha...so bored lor..coz he having stand by...
duno why but i miss him alot alot alot..guess thsoe feelings are coming back already...yeah..well..been slacking at home after work...
i did a stupid ting ytd nite...i went down to his camp to delivery food for him..omg...damn ulu lor there...even if u gif me 1 million..i will nv go there again..so scary...but was kinda of happy seeing him....hehe..i juz miss him so much..ytd late afternoon was at cookie's hse...so cute ar..the both of them..hehe..
today nua at home..so boring...argh...
tml is monday...a fresh week has stated...hehe...sian..working day...and im happy coz i can see him on tue...yeah...but he is having outfield fro wed to fri...not fair....

2006-11-06T08:56:00.000+08:00

it has been sometime since i blog..been bz bz bz bz...and most of all..im tired....*Bleah*
welll...time really passes very fast...i miss ban alot alot...oh ya..mayb our 2 yr we go malaysia...*Yeah*cant wait lor...haha...fri nite meet dear..hehe...den sat morning went to eat...but vomited everyting out...yucks...not feeling well tt day...Plus tt day was the 1st day...so pretty tired...went to his hse to slp...really slp lor...whenever i really slp at his hse means im very tired...most of the time i juz nua there....den ard 12+am...sam called ..ask me wanna go meet her n jie..den i ok lor..haha...went to west coast park..realised dun haf can opener...try to open lk crazy...in the end went to petrol station there to ask the ppl to open for us..went back to west coast park again to drink..reach hm bt 1.45am...and also i sae "big eye guy" down orchard road and i also saw him today...lol..so qiao..long time nv see him le...hahaha...den tml he on standby until next week...sian..

well...after all tt..i realised...after all i still love him..juz tt we been together for some time le..tt's y i tot the feeling was not there...but actually it was...haha..dun tok him yet...he will also noe de la...lol..he reads my blog u see...haha...

SO......

Mr Choo Sze Hian...Stop Printing out my blog.....u naughty naughty boy......

2006-11-01T08:52:00.000+08:00

welll..im not feeling gd...i felt sian..tired...but is not phyiscally..but emotionally....all i ever wanted was to noe how he feel...wat he wants and need...but he nv tell me...was i wrong...getting very irritated wif him lately...im not sure wat exactly has happened between the both of us...it juz suz alot alot...im so sad n miserable...wat can i do....i felt lk a walking zombie...i wan to voice out..but i dun dare...i only noe how to cry and get angry...

eddie was rite...i juz walking away from reality...the fact is there already...y i choose to run away...well..mayb tt is juz me...the timid me...the cry baby....

LIFE JUZ SUX!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~

2006-10-31T11:03:00.000+08:00

hmm...long time nv blog le....been rather bz lor...nth muxch had happened...but saw a bloodly sceen tyd...some one jumped or fall dw onto the mrt track...at clementi...omg...cant u imagine...y ppl dun cherish their life...i met death once and realise if i die...many ppl will be sad....my frens and family do care for me...juz tt i didnt realised it..stupid me...haha

well....hopefully i can go oversea...im keeping my finger cross....

2006-10-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm...thursday le wor....mon and tue..been going out...monday went over to cookie's hse...haha...my two babies...soso cute...
wed went to Zoo...had a lot of fun wif sam lor...wishing Ban was wif us..so the 3 of us can have alot alot alot of fun....
been rather not myself tis few days or weeks...tings happened here and there n i duno how to face tt person...i let him down....hopefully we can make it throu asap....

2006-10-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

hmm....is sun le...lol...holiday so fast...thu work OT....for the zoo tingy...sian..im going to the zoo next wed wif my company ppl...lol...wa kao...and im lk partner wif a group of ppl i do not noe...sian....

Friday half day...but end up working until bt 1pm...becoz of the zoo tingy again...argh...had family dinner at ntie at yun nan yuan there...dage struck 1st prize so we went to eat..he gave me $100...haha...later went The Chevrons there to drink lor..haha

Sat...not tt hazy...haha...gd gd...went out wif dear dear...nth much lor..sian...

sun..going tuition later..boring and meeting dear later..ahah...

so i start work next thu...ENJOY...haha..

2006-10-18T14:00:00.000+08:00

hmm..it is wednesday le..time passes soso fast...well..monday nite went over to dear's hse...hmm..his room is much more neater den beta..haha..i lk it alot alot...

tues stay at home..went to 380 to eat lor...very nice...hazy hazy...dear having his duty....
watch the Ch U 'Say I Do'...damn touch lor..haha..ask boy when is my turn...he sae soon soon..haha

Today nth much...Mr Hamdan came down and tok to us...finally catch up wif WZ...went lunch wif him...juz now celebrate some tech. birthday..juz felt out of place lor...strange....haha
later gng for tutition le...

Fri halfday...sat...sun...mon HP holiday...Tue Public holiday...haha...start work on Wed...hoho..cant wait for the long weekend holiday to be here soon...

2006-10-16T09:00:00.000+08:00

hmmm....alot alot to update...been rather very hazy this few days...throat very very uncomfortable..
well friday started off as a good day..but had a big disagreement wif him..he angry..i angry dun wan to tok...he cannot stand it..he was very rough and fierce towards me...i was scared...he took away my wallet..refuse to return me and he walk out of his own hse leaving me alone there...so i went off normally and WALK HOME....yes..i walk from Bukit Panjang to Clementi...a long long 2 hours walk...damn tired wif so many mosquito bites...he was worry...he went ard looking for me..i lazy to write le..haha

Sat went up to Cookie's hse..she is sick...supposed to meet Ms Lee but she cancel it...so stay at cookie's hse until bt 8+....he was having duty...

Sunday went for tuition den went to Sam's 21st BD....Went bowling wif jie, boy and grace...hahaha...had great fun....den went KTV..damn cheap lor there...sing until 12am den home sweet home...

the Chervons Chalet was nice...planning to book the chalet there for Xmas...mayb can ask his frens to come over..sure damn fun de...haha..hopeful i can book it..pls let there be space...

MONDAY....i was rite...sam didnt come to work..hehe...sick...i oso la..throat itchy...sianz...wat a boring day...MONDAY BLUES....

2006-10-12T14:26:00.000+08:00

hahaha....it is thursday...tml is FRIDAY...YES!!!!!....the weekend is here...haha...but sad lei..dear is having duty on sat...den sun is Sam's BD....so fsat..wonder when will it be my 21st den...
nvm...mayb can go up to cookie's hse to play wif her..hehe..i miss her alot alot ....ever so cute...
nth much had happened lei...so juz blogging rubbish and signing off...haha..tata...

2006-10-10T10:30:00.000+08:00

hmmm...is Tuesday le..soso fast..time really pass soso fast lor...juz felt tt time is not enuff for me...i really need some SLP....Bz bzbzbzbzbz..work work work....im so freakin bz today...argh...
let me update...

on friday..was damn hazy lor...sian...went to play lantern and we had alot alot of fun..but..the bad ting was...me and boy was some yum yum food for those damn mosquitoes....sickening...

on sat went out wif mama, papa and boy to Marine Square to eat Xin Wang....later after that go to Clarissa's hse...my cookie baby is sick...having some flu and cough...my poor little baby...cayden is getting bigger and soso cute..she nw know how to walk and talk le..so fast...
had great fun wif Cookie...i miss her soso much...enjoy playing wif her alot alot...after that went to Dear's hse...fall aslp there....haha...went i wake up..the haze got worse...eeee....PSI was lk 140...omg...i hate haze....

On sun..had tuition...was angry wif my student...luckily he not my son..cannot imagine...went out wif Dear...1st went over to my aunt's place...dun lk to go there at all..soso siowent to eat swensens then watch movie...haha..went to watch Rob-b-hood...the baby is soso cute...very funny and sad lor...worth the $$ to watch...not lk Stay Alive...Argh....angry...

On mon...nth much..went back to office..tot of buying a small plant to place it at my desk...hehe..
work work work...
i plan le..i intend to try out hospitality and tourism line be4 going to study tt...my target...1 yr working..if i really lk..den i enroll for my Ba(Hons)....

2006-10-06T10:07:00.000+08:00

Guess wat...is FRIDAY...haha...finally...the weekend is here..my long awaited...cant do much tings nw as one of the tech. is using my pc..so nth beta to do nw...
later at nite gng to play lantern...yeah...today is lantern festival...yum yum..he is gng to swensens to buy me ice cream mooncake to eat...hmm..im getting fatter and fatter each day...must tink of a way to slim down le wor...hehe..my goal..to wear nice nice clothes...hoho..
been quite bz tis way..gng around chasing for quotations and outstanding invoices...boring...
next week more bz..meeting Ms Lee, Sam's birthday...Meeting up wif Clarissa...alot alot of tings..i miss my cookie and cayden...so long nv see them le...
Tml he is bringing me, mama and papa to go Marine Square to eat Xin Wang...hehe...toking about sliming down... -_-"
Wonder if i can go and study Uni...not enuff $$ lei..sian...tink go work 1st den save up den enrol lor..no choice..still got the urge to go overseas to do my degree or Bacholer...is tt how u spell it??...
or go to EASB to do my BA(Hons) international Hospitality Management....sian hor.....argh....
if only hospitality and tourism Dip came early into NP...i wouldn't go do Logistics liao...TP too far away from me le la...sian 1/2....
actually, now sae also too late le...

NW ppl...do wat u tink is gd for u..i regret nw but no time to cry over spilled milk...choose a course tt u love..pursue ur dreams....do wat u like...

I'm living my life as it is...stop telling me im having depression...I'M FINE~~~~~

2006-10-04T16:04:00.000+08:00

It is Wednesday...time passes very fast...2 more days to weekend le...I'm so tired...from all the working and entertaining...forcing a fake smile on my face when i mit some ppl tt i dun lk..wat is life dude???....
Sometimes trying to open my mouth and talk is hard...how do i speak up when i cant find the courage...mayb it is time i shd face myself..fight all tis...life is in a big mess..family in a big mess....does my face show im happy and im fortunate to have a wonderful family??....i nv had a wonderful family...from young...i made one fren...my fren is call CANE....no matter how much i do...correct or wrong...im always beaten up by my mum...i rmb the hatred i had towards her was big...i would cry lk hell whenever she come to fetch me from my godparents' hse...holding on to the door lk it was my life...nv wanted to go back to the home called hell...i wanted to run away...far from her...to the end of the world..so noone could find me...life came crashing down when i went into secondary sch...tt's was 4 yrs back...sec 3...my life came totally down...i wish i could die...no one understand the pain...no did...
but without tis...i wont be wat i am nw...a totally different me...but i took along someting...depression...An illness that nv wanted to leave me...An illness i tot i had already recovered long ago...

WHEN WILL I EVER STEP OUT OF THE SHELL AND REACH OUT???..TELLING MYSELF..IT'S OK...

Sam sae I'm too honest...easy to let ppl bully...too trustful..ppl sae wat i believe wat...too innocent...wat's is wrong wif me?????....hu can answer ME~~~~~

2006-10-02T09:18:00.000+08:00

Hmm...quite long nv blog liao...alot of tings happened...today Sam nv come..so im lk alone here...soso sian..
had a fight wif him last fri...den it became bigger n bigger tt we almost break again..i slap him...omg..y didnt he moved away...i didnt mean it..i really did mean it..he was irritating and annoying me..pushing me to my very limits...i was damn angry and sad...bought mooncakes for his mother and clothes for his niece..he refused tp pick up my call and i had to call his hse..forced me to...sickening...argh...angry..
had a huge fight downstair his hse and i walked away to take bus...juz rite the bus came..in the bus realised i didnt eat my dinner at all felt hungry..and the story goes on..patch lor..haha..
sunday went for tuition...den went ot walk walk wif him...watch stay alive...very disappointed...haha..tot it would be nice..but is the sound systems tt is scary..not the movie..went to his hse for dinner den went home..told him to sit one round go back as it was the last bus le..told him not to worry..reach hm will call him...went i walk to my hse carpark...realise my hp is wif him..haha die..was tining tt hmm..ask him early morning pass to my mama...den i saw someone very familiar...it was him..he went down the bus after my stop which is quite far...he run over..sae he worry...dun wan me to go hm my self..told him my hp is wif him...haha..had a good luff over it..

sian sian sian sian sian...

Life is short...enjoy it while you still can....understand????

2006-09-29T09:43:00.000+08:00

hmm...is friday le..but...i cant go out lor..my leg is still lk pig leg...nv eat medicine lor...angry wif myself...
had a small disagreement wif samy ytd...sorry....glad we settle it on the spot and not drag it for so long...seriously...i miss ban alot alot alot...miss the time the 3 of us hang out together lk best buddies...i really miss those times..in sch..outside sch..
he came to pei me go see sinseh too...hai...soso sian lor...tml sat le...finally is the weekend already...pls...mon dun come...i dun lk mon...sian.....

A good Lomantic place to eat...
www.mysg.com.sg

Truth OR Lie

2006-09-27T11:51:00.000+08:00

Went to see the doctor ytd...Was diagnose with mild depression...she told me I have been running away from it...i simply refuse to accept the fact...i having depression...crazy...i feel fine...i feel happy...am i?....questions running throu my mind...it has been 4 yrs already...y I'm still suffering...i juz feel that there is someting tt is troubling me deep inside and making me sad...but...i cant seem to find out wat it is....a sadist?....i oso duno...
He dun seem to understand dun he....he dun understand the tings i have to go throu...digging up those sickening pasts of mine which i buried it yrs ago...mayb is becoz i cant let go of the past...
I'm so scared...no one understands or noe....I cant accept tis..I'm living in the past...i cant let go..someone teach me how to let it go...and open myself...i dun dare to reach out...becoz I'm scared of getting hurt...the pain...sharp pain....
Y do ppl force me to come out of my shell when i choose not to..And when i get out of my shell..ppl hurt me..hurt me so deeply tt i have to walk back in to my shell again...
is not i dun wan to help myself...is i duno how...
He had a wonderful family...ppl hu care for him..and me...i haf to be independent since young....
all i ever wanted was to be happy...ppl to love..care for me...
Sam sae i change...i became more quiet...lose interest in things i like...tis person look familiar to me...this person was me 4 yrs back...
i try to change..to open up...but i cant...I'm afraid to reach out...
Nw...i duno wat i want...mayb keep running??...or shd i come back to reality to fight tis...i felt so lonely inside....i duno wat to do.....

A New Start

2006-09-26T09:10:00.000+08:00

Hmm....a new blog...a new beginning for me..deleted my previous blog...
Life has been good to me???....i oso duno ar..haha...nw having my attachment in hp lor...soso sian...doing nth...
Currently thinking about my future..where will i be heading towards..guess clarissa was right..do wat i like be4 i regret for the rest of my life...no matter how mummy is going to object to it(although she pays for me)...i still going to say NO..i noe that no matter wat...he will be there to support me...i noe he will...being throu so much with him...almost break up with him alot time..but i still love him alot...haha...
The thought of going oversea to study keep running through my brain....but i can't bear to leave my loved ones behind..i ask him if he would go over with me..and he agreed...haha...soso sweet...
his brother and sis-in-law are going to have their own hse soon...sometimes looking at them, i felt so...duno how to sae lei...is lk..their family is complete..a child (a very sweet and cute little girl), a wonderful marriage, and a hse they called theirs...perfect rite?
when will i get marry..will i ever get marry..will my marriage be xing fu...wonder when will i get my own hse??...decorating and printing my hse...haha...*daydreaming*